Despero
by Beatus
Summary: In the lives of Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley all is not what it seems. When the two befriend each other will it make things harder to handle or easier? Rated T for depression themes and language.
1. Exordium

**Chapter I**

**Summary: **The first chapter in a story that shows the darker side of Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy's lives.  
**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. Except my plot and any new characters.  
**Authors Note: **It's probably not that good, but hey. Read and Review.

* * *

Ginny Weasley sat up in bed and stretched. The morning light shone dully into her room, partially blocked out by the curtains. Ginny had suffered yet another basically sleepless night. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

_Just another boring day in the Weasley household _She thought. _Ok, well that's not really entirely true. As boring as a day could be in the middle of the greatest wizarding war of all time. _She yawned again. _Just another hour maybe… I mean, it's the middle of the holidays it's hardly going to matter if I ju-_ Ginny interrupted herself.

"Shit!" She said out loud. It wasn't just another day. Today was September the first.

"Oh man…." She jumped out of bed and glanced at her clock. 7:34. There was a loud knock at her door.

"Ginny! Ginevra Weasley! Get up! Get up this minute!" Her mother's voice called, sounding somewhat frazzled.

"Yeah… I'm coming mum." She jumped up and grabbed some clothes. Nothing special; just jeans and a shirt. She had what could easily be described as the world's quickest shower and got dressed. As she was heading down the stairs she caught a glance of herself in a mirror. Her long red hair hung around halfway down her back. Her pale skin was dotted only with a few freckles. She was slim with long thin legs. She was by no means ugly. Not breath-taking either though. She pulled a face at her reflection and pulled her hair up into a neat plait.

When she entered the kitchen she found her mother sitting down a bowl of porridge at her place.

Molly smiled warmly at her daughter, but even through the smile Ginny could see tired lines creasing her mothers face.

"You okay mum?" She asked as she sat down, pulling a face at her porridge. _Is there anyone in the world who actually likes porridge? If so point them out and I shall cause them pain…_ She thought scooping up the gluggy mess in her spoon and forcing herself to swallow some.

"Yes, yes dear. Everything's okay. I'm just tired that's all," Molly said, clearly lying, as she flicked her wand and some tea towels began to fold themselves.

When Ginny had finished her muck, er- porridge, she placed her bowl on the sink and made her way back upstairs. Moving as slowly as humanely possible she began gathering up some stuff she hadn't yet packed for Hogwarts. She was so not ready to go back. Though it's not like she would've been able to help around the Burrow. She'd have gone insane, what, with her mother the way she was at the moment. Moping around and cleaning EVERYTHING, seriously if you stood still top long expect to be dusted…. Ok, Ginny could understand it. The dream team had gone to save the world and the rest of the Weasley men (except for Bill) were preparing to fight as well. It wasn't easy on anyone… but Molly was basically hysterical. At least Bill's condition was improving. He was back at the Burrow now and Molly was constantly fussing. Fleur wasn't all that pleased with Molly's fussing.

"I am Bills wife now. It is I who must look after him!"

"But Fleur, dear, I'm his mother."

"I'm well aware of that Molly, but I am his wife!"

The bickering… Oh it was awful. Ginny smiled to herself. Perhaps Hogwarts wouldn't be so bad after all.

_Except, _Ginny thought, _for bloody idiots like Draco Malfoy and his deadbeat minions. _

She wondered if he'd show. Rumor was that many parents refused to allow their children to attend Hogwarts anymore. With Dumbledore gone they were concerned it wouldn't be safe enough. Of course, that's not why Ginny wondered if Malfoy would show his face. More like, he might be busy attempting to destroy most of the world or something equally as evil. She was positive that he must be a death eater. After the whole Dumbledore thing it seemed logical.

It was so hard to believe that Albus Dumbledore would no longer be headmaster. Minerva McGonagall would now become Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was insane really. He'd been there her entire school career, and now he was dead. It was an awful thought, that they would never see him again.

_This whole war is awful, _Ginny thought angrily. It was taking such a huge toll on her family. With Bill being attacked and Ron leaving to search for the Horcruxes and her father was never at home anymore. It was tearing the Weasley family apart.

* * *

Draco Malfoy awoke and glanced at his clock. Dammit…. 8 O'clock. September the first. Brilliant… just fucking brilliant. He'd been out ALL night, and now he had to get up and go to school. He didn't understand why his parents- yes, plural. Lucius Malfoy had mysteriously escaped from Azkaban. And they thought Sirius Black was the only one who could do it…

Draco smirked. _No-one is more cunning than a Malfoy, _He thought smugly.

He showered and pulled on a pair of black jeans and a black t-shirt. As he made his way downstairs a small house-elf ran into him.

"What the fucking hell do you think you're doing?" He said angrily to the house-elf.

"Millie is sor-sorry Master Draco sir…" The elf named Millie was a brilliant shade of red.

"So you bloody well should be," Draco said shoving the elf out of the way.

Ok… so he was a prick. He was the first to admit that. But it was in his genes. He was a Malfoy for crying out loud. And no-one is more horrible or more cunning than a Malfoy.

When he got downstairs he found only a house elf named Lin cleaning the Dining Room. Lin had been in the Malfoy Manor for as long as Draco could remember.

"Lin," He said. The house-elf turned to him.

"Yes Master Draco?" She asked giving a slight curtsy.

"Where are my parents?"

"Master Lucius and Madame Narcissa are out, they have been called away."

"Ah…" Draco said nodding. "Now how the hell am I meant to get to Kings Cross?"

"A car will arrive at eight thirty," She replied. "Your trunk is packed and waiting in the Entrance Hall,"

"Thank you Lin," He said before turning to walk away.

He went back into his room and knelt down on the floor. From under his bed he pulled a sketch pad. He tucked it under his arm and made his way back downstairs.

It was now eight thirty and the car had arrived. His trunk was loaded into the car, as was Draco himself. He sat on the back seat staring silently out the window at the passing scenery. Well… if you could call it scenery. A few cows… some trees. Quite boring really.

The ride passed quickly and Draco soon found himself passing through the barrier of Platform 9 and ¾. As he looked around he noticed that there seemed to be quite a few people missing. Weasley, Granger and Potter were all absent.

_Oh well…_Draco thought smirking. _I'm sure I'll get over it._

He boarded the train and found an empty compartment. He sat on one of the seats and sighed. He was glad to be away from Malfoy Manor at the moment, but Hogwarts? Eurgh. It's not much better.

He lay back on the seat and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Ginny entered the compartment and found Draco asleep on one of the seats. She shook her head.

_We've been on this train for, I don't know… half an hour? And he's asleep. _She thought in disgust. _Lazy bastard._

She sat down on another seat. Really she didn't have a choice. She'd been in with Colin and Dennis Creevey but quickly tired of their company. This was the only other compartment that wasn't full. She began to read a book that she'd had in her hand.

It wasn't long before Draco woke up again. He sat up, stretched and yawned. When he saw Ginny he let out a slightly feminine shriek and fell sideways of the seat.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked after regaining his composure and scrambling back onto the seat.

Ginny managed to control her laughter and looked at him with a serious look on her face.

"Belly dancing…"

He looked at her blankly.

"It was a joke…" She said shaking her head. "Hello Dickhead..."

"Excuse me!" Draco asked offended.

"Nothing…"

Draco glared at her.

"Well… What ARE you doing?"

"Reading."

"What are you reading?"

"A book."

Draco was beginning to get frustrated. He walked over and snatched the book from her hands.

"Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare. What the hell is this?" He asked in disgust.

"One of the most famous love stories ever written by one of the most famous authors in the muggle world," Ginny replied snatching the book back.

Draco returned to his seat and stretched out lazily on it.

"Honestly Weasley, I'm surprised your family can afford books…" He said smirking.

"You are such… such… you're such a…" She spat angrily.

"I'm a what? Go on Weaslette, spit it out."

"You're a MORON! You don't give a shit about anyone other than yourself do you?"

"No… why? Should I?" He said lazily.

Ginny just shook her head disgustedly.

"You are pathetic… A pathetic evil Death Eater." She said angrily.

Draco merely raised his eyebrow and then closed his eyes again.

"If you don't like me Weaslette, then leave."

He heard the redhead make a frustrated noise then footsteps and a door slamming.

_Hardly surprising, _he thought. _Weasley's and Malfoy's will never get along. We're much to upper class for them.

* * *

_

Well…. End of first chapter. I know what you're thinking. What a cliché Ginny and Draco love story. Well, you're wrong! Wrong I tell you! But I guess you'll only be able to find out by reading the next chapters. And we all know there's only one way that new chapters will appear. Yup, that's right… REVIEWS! So… go on review!  
Byeee. Lauren.


	2. Obsideo Somnium

**Chapter II**

**Nectarines suck**: Allow me to start by saying: yes Nectarines does suck. I mean, he beat up one of your friends! Evil! Also, yes I will finish this one… Aw, your poor shins.

**RiOt-GaL**: Aw, thanks. Such a sweet review! Definitely, too much fluff too soon is not good!

**Pussin Boots**: Well…. Well… you can't have everything! I'm sorry…. I'll try. Thanks.

**leafsgurl999**: Another really nice review! Thanks. I hope you find this chapter as good as the last.

**random gal**: Thanks! I hope it goes okay….

**Neeltje**- Thanks dude. It's not cliché! It's not!

**Bambiky-** Thanks!

**Harrison J. Pecans- **They're not together… yet!

* * *

**Summary: **This chapter offers slightly more insight into Ginny and Draco's lives and thoughts.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but my plot and any new characters. As much as I'd like to say I own Draco… I can't. sigh

**Authors Note: **Thanks everyone for your reviews. Also, thank you Ezekiel for your help in the naming of the new character and for everything else. You really are a legend. This is a fairly long chapter for me. I'm happy! Ok guys… please read and review!

* * *

As she sat in the Great Hall Ginny Weasley was sure she could feel someone watching her. Though, it could've just been her imagination. But she was sure she could feel eyes on her. She looked around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. She shook her head and scolded herself for being so silly.

Everyone in the great hall was talking loudly about their holidays and stuff, but the most common topic of conversation was The War. Hardly surprising though, a few of the students had already lost parents. But the worst was still to come. The full force of the war would not hit until Harry, Ron and Hermione had succeeded in their quest to find the Horcruxes. That was IF they succeeded. Ginny was told very little about the quest but living with the twins certainly helped her to gather information. From what she'd heard the Dream Team had already found and destroyed two Horcruxes. It was a dangerous journey and without Dumbledore's protection the Trio was under constant threat. Voldemort had gathered a large and powerful army.

Ginny dragged her thoughts away from the painful topic of the war and looked around the Great Hall.

Many students were missing because their parents didn't think the school would be safe enough without Dumbledore. Ginny noticed that the Patil twins were missing, as was Seamus Finnegan, Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones and Cho Chang. There was probably more but these were the only one whose absence Ginny noticed. Cho was missing because her mother had been taken by the Death Eaters. Ginny had read about it as had everyone else apparently because this was a topic that kept popping up.

* * *

Over at the Slytherin table Draco Malfoy was sitting between Pansy Parkinson and Vincent Crabbe. Pansy had attached herself to his arm the minute she first saw him that evening and was yet to let go. He'd tried shaking her off, but like a determined leech, she wouldn't release her firm grip. He was vaguely aware of Crabbe mumbling some nonsense beside him, but really couldn't be bothered listening. He looked up at the roof/sky and began to inspect some of the stars. In his head he was pointing out different constellations when he realized everyone around him was staring at him.

Draco looked at them all looking at him.

"What?" He asked blankly.

Pansy giggled sickeningly.

"About your initiation silly…"

"What about it?" Draco asked.

"When is it!" Blaise Zabini asked impatiently.

"Oh…" Draco said, finally understanding. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Goyle asked.

"I mean… dammit Goyle. I mean I DON'T KNOW!"

Everyone looked surprised at Draco's little tantrum.

Well, dammit. He was frustrated and God help anyone who gets in his way when he's frustrated. He sat sulking for a moment. Over the holidays he had preformed the 'initiation task'. He was haunted by it at night.

_MEMORY_

_Draco stood silently, hidden beneath an invisibility cloak. He was careful not to make any noise, for he knew that if he did he would ultimately lose his life. A tall witch with dark hair, eyes and complexion walked past him, unaware of his presence. He crept slowly behind her. She glanced nervously around and Draco froze. He couldn't put it off any longer. _

"_AVADA KEDARVA!" He yelled mustering up all of his energy and courage._

_The woman gasped and in a flash of green light fell to the floor. Draco closed his eyes, momentarily repulsed by what he had done. He shook his head and walked silently away, leaving the body of Cho Chang's mother._

Draco was brought back to reality by Pansy tapping him on the arm. He looked up to see Professor McGonagall getting to her feet.

* * *

"Welcome back to Hogwarts," She began with a forced smile. "I understand that you are all suffering greatly because of the War, but this does not mean that Hogwarts and your schooling will suffer. Albus Dumbledore was a great man, one who will never be forgotten. I ask you all to raise your glasses in a toast to him." Every person in the room raised their glass, Slytherins included.

"To Albus Dumbledore," Professor McGonagall said smiling as tears shone in her eyes.

"To Albus Dumbledore," The students echoed. Many of them too looked teary.

After the toast McGonagall gestured for a man who was sitting at the end of the table to stand. He did and the students could see that he was quite a tall man with dark hair and eyes.

"This," She said gesturing towards him. "Is Professor William Walker,"

He nodded at the students and sat back down.

"He will be replacing Professor Snape as the Defence against the Dark Arts professor."

As soon as this was said there were murmurs of why Snape had left. Some of the students KNEW why he was gone, but others were not sure.

McGonagall finished her speech much more formally than Dumbledore would have.

"Thank you and welcome back. Enjoy the feast!"

* * *

After the feast Ginny followed Lavender Brown up to Gryffindor Tower. As they reached the portrait the Fat Lady looked at all the first years and giggled.

"Oh my, they are pretty ones aren't they?" She said drunkenly.

Ginny snorted.

_Honestly, I don't know why they let Violet and the Fat Lady see each other while we're at the welcoming feast. It frightens the first years! _She thought.

"Hippogriff," Lavender said, shaking her head at the drunken portrait.

The Fat Lady giggled and swung forward allowing the students to enter the common room.

Everyone stood around in groups and chattered happily.

Ginny was amazed that they could all be so cheerful. Didn't they understand what was going on? The wizarding world was at war. Where they all honestly so stupid that they didn't realize this?

"Ginny!"

Ginny spun around to see Lavender beckoning to her from the other side of the room. She shook her head and waved to Lavender. Ginny had never really liked Lavender and she didn't have the patience for her right now.

Instead she headed up the stairs to her dormitory.

* * *

Draco wandered down towards the Dungeons with Pansy STILL attatched to his arm. She was going on about something, but Draco simply ignored her and got lost in his own thoughts.

As they reached the entrance to the Slytherin common room Pansy spotted some of her friends. She squealed and dropped Draco's arm. She jumped up, pecked him on the cheek and ran to join her friends.

"Ugh. I hope I don't catch something," He muttered wiping his cheek. He was all for female attention but Pansy Parkinson? Does she even count as being female?

"Basalisk Blood" He said as he approached the portrait. It swung forward, allowing him to enter. In the Common Room people crowded around him asking about his initiation and enrolment. He brushed off most of the questions and headed up to his dormitory. He really couldn't be bothered with them at the moment.

* * *

With all her classes finished for the day Ginny was relaxing in a chair in the Gryffindor Common Room. Sitting with nothing to do caused her mind to wander to topics she'd rather not think about. She realized that without Ron, Harry and Hermione she'd basically be alone this year. It's not as though they allowed her to tag along because they enjoyed her company. More that they valued their lives. Molly Weasley could be quite threatening at times. Ginny realized this, but said nothing, for she was quite grateful for the company. But this year her "protectors" wouldn't be there and she would be alone. True, she could hang out with the Creevey boys or Lavender, but she didn't feel wanted by them. Well… she didn't really feel wanted by anyone after the whole Riddle thing. It seems they all feared being petrified. Thinking about the Trio made her mind wander to their quest. Thinking about this scared her because she knew of the dangers they would face.

Ginny felt the sting of tears in her eyes. The war, the Trio and the thought of being alone all year; it was all too much for Ginny to cope with. She wiped her eyes with a shaking hand and pulled herself to her feet. She needed to let out some frustration, and for Ginny there was only one way to do this.

* * *

Draco launched himself onto his bed. It'd been a long day. It was his first day of classes and he'd had double potions with Slughorn. With Snape he'd been favoured, all the Slytherins had, but Slughorn despised him. It wasn't that he was bad at potions. No, he was quite good at potions (Of course, being a Malfoy he was perfect in every way…) but for some reason Slughorn hated him.

_Probably, _Draco thought. _Because I'm a Malfoy. _

He pondered this for a moment before lying back on his bed and allowing himself to drift off to sleep. But, as usual, he slept for only an hour or so before being haunted by horrible dreams.

_He could see her. She reached out towards him. She was speaking. _

"_Draco… it's not too late!" She cried with her arms outstretched towards her son. "You don't have to do this! Draco, stay with me!"_

_Then Lucius stepped forward and began to yell._

"_Yes he does! Stupid woman! He does!" Lucius yelled, outraged. _

_Narcissa broke down into sobs and Lucius swung around with his arm outstretched and connected with her face. All of a sudden this picture faded to a vision of another woman._

_This woman was lying on the floor screaming. Her daughter sat beside her crying. She turned to Draco._

"_You did this! You did this to my mother! How dare you!" She screamed. The girl was Cho Chang. She got to her feet and ran screaming at Draco. As she got closer she faded to Lord Voldemort who grabbed Draco's arm. _

Draco sat upright in his bed breathing heavily. His arm burned. He pulled up the sleeve of his robe and looked at the Dark Mark which was now on his arm. It looked the same as it always did. He was not being summoned. He sighed with relief and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

Yes. He, Draco Malfoy, was a Death Eater. His enrolment had already taken place. He lived in terror of having to kill again. He was weak. He shouldn't fear killing, he should gain pleasure from it. As the ruthless Death Eater he was he should be prepared to kill. Instead he was terrified. Terrified and ashamed. He knew his mother disagreed with what he was doing and he hated that. But Lucius had been full of threats.

"If you don't agree to join your mother could find herself in much harm Draco…"

Yes Lucius, the bastard he is, had even threatened to kill his own wife. And Draco did not doubt for one minute that Lucius would follow through with his threat. So he played along. A part of Draco also wanted to be a Death Eater. It'd make him seem like a big man, and as a Malfoy he had a reputation to uphold.

But still he was disgusted with himself.

He opened his trunk which was at the end of the bed. He needed to relax and release. There was only one way for him to do that.

* * *

Ginny stretched and pulled her long red curls into a bun. She glanced into the mirror that covered one of the walls of The Room of Requirement. She was dressed in an emerald green leotard and tights which made her red hair look even more brilliant. She brought her arms high above her head and bent her knees, lifting her heels of the ground, in a grand plie. She couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to be dancing.

In the corner of the room sat a CD player. Well… the magical equivalent of a CD player. Ginny tapped it with her wand and a fast dance track began to play.

She began to dance. It was a routine she'd been working on over the summer and she'd perfected it. It was fast and used a combination of all different sorts of dance. This for Ginny was her release.

She'd taught herself to dance. Tuition was expensive and her parents couldn't afford it. But, with the help of many books, she'd become quite talented.

She'd always had a natural talent for dancing but now she was brilliant. She'd studied all different forms of dance. Latin, Classical Ballet, Modern Ballet… everything.

The song finished and Ginny ended in a low split. She got back up, already feeling totally refreshed and relaxed. She got into position and waited for the next song.

* * *

Draco looked down at the sketchpad he held. The eyes needed more work. He worked quickly and confidently and had soon finished an incredibly realistic sketch of his mother. Looking at the sketch brought the woman to Draco's mind. He loved his mother, he really did. He could never love Lucius. But Narcissa offered a much more parental role to him.

She really cared about him. Whereas Lucius… Well, Lucius cared for Lucius and that was it.

The man couldn't even say the word love for fear it would make Voldemort want him dead.

Thus being one of the reasons Draco Malfoy envied Harry Potter. Yes that's right. Envy. Not because he's pathetically good. No, not that, but because his parents cared for him. Draco's mother cares for him, yes. But Lucius has forced his son to take the path in life that will almost surely result in his death.

Draco flipped through the pages of his sketchpad. Most of the drawings were of his mother. Occasionally there were sketches of completely random things. Sunsets, flowers, animals. But of course Lucius could never know that his son drew pictures of flowers in his spare time. Draco would be hanged. So this, his release, took place privately and only when he had full concentration and would not be disturbed. He had talent that was for sure. But it was unrecognized talent because he felt no one could ever see these drawings for fear of him seeming less of a man.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Well, thanks for reading. Review and tell me what you think! I apologise in advance if I screw up any terms or anything with Ginny's dancing. Because I'm not a dancer, I'm completely hopeless when it comes to dancing! So I'm just doing the best I can. Same with the drawing really. Anyways, just tell me what you thought! 


End file.
